I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
