I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You don't make any sense
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