you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
