Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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