I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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