yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
