i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
