awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
