some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
