Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
