Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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