ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so let's talk penis.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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