i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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