I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
