i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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