sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
