That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
