is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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