I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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