im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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