do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
