So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
