if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
my sisters under your porch take her home
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
