It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
