let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
