Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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