guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
