Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
home. puking in laundry basket.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
