Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
