We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
