hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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