But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
