she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
