Dude my mom stole all your condoms
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
