My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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