Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i think my tv is drunk
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
