omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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