I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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