Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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