I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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