She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
