And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The uberlube is also flammable
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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