Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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