I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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