I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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