i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
