I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
