I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
