i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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