why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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